Zone Doubt, a.k.a. 'Surreal Я Us'...
Joules, trusted by... dozens... to make a drama out of your crisis...
:: JAT :: WaveWrights :: Publications ::
I live to write. It's not wise to get in my
If you come across any words you don't recognise in this blog, take a look at the Taylorspeke Glossary in the left-hand infopane, you'll usually find a definition there.
A brief note to the idiots who put ads in the comments - I will mark them as spam and delete them as soon as I'm notified of them, so don't bother. I absolutely loathe adverts in any form and will not have them on here if I have any choice in the matter. (Of course, if they're addded by bots this won't be noticed, but I'll still remove them...)
Adventures in Orchids
Apparently I am now collecting them...
EO - Everlasting orchid. Phalaenopsis. I've had this orchid for at least 15 years and it just keeps flowering...
AO - Alien face orchid. Phalaenopsis . Bought 2018 - lovely little flowers, all different patterns!
RO - Rescued orchid
TO - Tiny orchid. Phalaenopsis. Bought at Tesco 21.8.20. It just begged to come home with me. How could I say no?
CO - Crimson orchid. Cambria. Another Tesco find. This one may be going to live in Ken's room once we've redecorated and put up the new shelving; it prefers a cooler, less sunny windowsill. If so, I'll need to find another cambrian to keep it company.
GO - Golden orchid. Phalaenopsis. Saw this one when I bought CO and left it behind - then immediately regretted it as soon as I got home. Never seen one like it before. Ken, bless him, went back over to Tesco in the rain and bought it for me...
Thursday, September 19, 2002
.... It's just as well I'm almost impossible to embarrass...
Took Quyn with me to collect Kai, yesterday and again today (walking back through the park so they can both run off some energy). Bratling comes out of the school gates, we get maybe six yards down the road, he frowns up at me and says, "Mum, what happens when you have sex?"
Now, we've always encouraged him to ask questions, and we've always tried to answer him then and there - and today was no different. But Kai doesn't just want to know the 'what' of things: he wants to know the 'how' and 'why' and 'where' as well...
So - to the bemusement of the other parents collecting their sprogs - I started the impromptu sex education lesson. (A little further down, the road was, thankfully, empty of pedestrians...)
Actually he knew the mechanics already, from things we've explained in the past and from talking to other boys in the playground (for gods' sakes, he's 7! It's his second week of Junior School! Is it me or are they maturing earlier these days?), so instead of the usual 'penis in vagina' chat we discussed what happened when you had an orgasm (boys and girls), that it's perfectly OK to masturbate, what a clitoris is, what an erection is...
It got quite interesting at one point. After explaining (when he asked) that moving in and out in straightforward sex is exciting and arousing and that's what leads to orgasm (for the man, anyway), he asked,
"But boys can't do that, can they?"
Me: "Well, yes, actually they can."
Kai, frowning: "How?"
Brief explanation of male/male sex later, Kai, thoughtfully: "Oh." [brief silence] "But girls can't, can they?"
Me: "Yes, they can."
Kai: "How? They haven't got penises."
Me (keeping it to basic bodily parts for now - we'll deal with toys and more complex practices at a later date!): "They use their fingers."
Well, this was all accepted, and we spent the last five minutes of the walk home discussing slang names for the sex organs (can't have my bratling mocked in the playground for not knowing, now, can I?)
Y'now, I just knew I'd be the one to handle this - I can almost *hear* Ken's sigh of relief. And I've finally been able to explain properly what we mean when we tell Kai that if anybody tries to do anything to him he doesn't want, he can do anything to get away - kick, scream, hit, bite... (And that doesn't exclude us or the medical fraternity, except in emergencies or with his agreement.)
Heh. I can't fault his curiosity, but his timing stinks...