Zone Doubt, a.k.a. 'Surreal Я Us'...

Joules, trusted by... dozens... to make a drama out of your crisis...

Other sites:

:: JAT :: WaveWrights :: Publications ::

I live to write. It's not wise to get in my way.

... I'd write my autobiography, but no-one would believe it....


If you come across any words you don't recognise in this blog, take a look at the Taylorspeke Glossary in the left-hand infopane, you'll usually find a definition there.


The Poppy Tales

(Transformers fanfiction!)

Transformers mini-comics here.




Adventures in Orchids

Apparently I am now collecting them...

There's room for one - or maybe two, at a pinch - more on that bedroom windowsill (the only one in the house that's ideal for them). Let's see what I find. Well, that didn't last long...


EO - Everlasting orchid. Phalaenopsis. I've had this orchid since 2007 and it just keeps flowering...







AO - Alien face orchid. Phalaenopsis . Bought 2018 - lovely little flowers, all different patterns!





RO - Rescued orchid photo to come when it flowers. Phalaenopsis. Rescued from a bin up the road in 2019. Classic!






TO - Tiny orchid. Phalaenopsis. Bought at Tesco 21.8.20. It just begged to come home with me. How could I say no?





CO - Crimson orchid. Cambria. Another Tesco find. This one may be going to live in Ken's room once we've redecorated and put up the new shelving; it prefers a cooler, less sunny windowsill. If so, I'll need to find another cambrian to keep it company.






GO - Golden orchid. Phalaenopsis. Saw this one when I bought CO and left it behind - then immediately regretted it as soon as I got home. Never seen one like it before. Ken, bless him, went back over to Tesco in the rain and bought it for me...





DO - Dendrobium Orchid. Smells of wisteria, so beautiful...











RO2 - Rescued orchid no 2. Phalaenopsis. This is the one I rescued from the wall along the road middle of 2021.








PO. Pink orchid. Phalaenopsis. This is the one I bought at Cabury Garden Centre on special, late 2021. It's much happier here!










TWO. Teeny weeny orchid, Phalaenopsis. Rescued from Tesco end 2021 (I think).




















My IMDb ep summaries

(completed)
Arthur of the Britons
Sky
Star Maidens
The Starlost
Space Rangers
The Sentinel (part: seasons 2 and 3)
Swamp Thing (part: season 3)
Gravedale High
Transformers: Armada
Transformers: Energon
Transformers: Cybertron (part)
Misfits of Science (four eps)
Zoo Gang
Zodiac
Jupiter Moon
Transformers: Beast Wars (part: seasons 2 and 3)
Transformers: Beast Machines (part)
Vampire Princess Miyu
Starhyke
Nathan Barley
No Heroics
Undermind (3 eps)
Will Shakespeare (Tim Curry version)
Nightwalker
12 Kingdoms
Trigun (ep 8)
Rayearth
Hyperdrive (season 2 ep 3)
The Café

For later:

Missing Earthian ep
Missing Haibane Renme eps


Silver birch at Eastwood 

Farm

"Autumnal - nothing to do with leaves. It is to do with a certain brownness at the edges of the day... Brown is creeping up on us, take my word for it... Russets and tangerine shades of old gold flushing the very outside edge of the senses... deep shining ochres, burnt umber and parchments of baked earth - reflecting on itself and through itself, filtering the light. At such times, perhaps, coincidentally, the leaves might fall, somewhere..."

(Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead Act 2: Tom Stoppard)

Autumn...

I love this time of year. I love the colours, the sharp slant of sunlight on the trees, mosaics of acid-yellow and harts- blood, velvet and darkness and a haze of mist-grey over the hills. I love its immanence, its mellowness, the tang of frost just around the corner of the year...

Watching the little birds in the goat-willow in my garden, I realised something more.

I love this land with a fierce, possessive love, deep-rooted in two thousand years of history. From the frosted beaches and cloud-brushing peaks of the north to the wind-haunted meanderings of the rivers of the east, from the sensuous rolling patchworked hills of the south to the demanding dark moors of the west, this land seeps into bone and blood and synapse, mother of motley nobility, culture, individual freedoms. It can be known. It can be understood. It can be felt deep inside.

I love its effortless eccentricities, its vigour and vibrancy, its flawed perfections, its silent strength and tenacious resilience, its hard-won tolerances and intense and variable beauty, the profound energy in its sacred mythical landscape.

Home and more-than-home, the forces that shape and protect and bind, in me, as I am in the land. Love returning love in the stillness for those who'll only take the time to listen...

(Joules, Autumn 2004)


All photographs taken by Joules unless otherwise specified. All photographs © Joules A Taylor or other specified individual.


In Memoriam

17.03.09 - Argent

25.07.08 - Raptor

18.12.07 - Quyn

02.12.06 - Ryme


Currently enjoying:
Muse
Transformers - IDW, Prime, Animated, Rescue Bots, Earthspark.

Currently reading:
Cixin Liu - newest favourite author.
Ben Miller. wow. Just, wow...


Currently working on:
Haadri
Dystopic novel starring Devon from Dystopia

Currently chuffed with:
My garden

Currently miffed at:
Effing BND (you know who I mean)
Nestlé, TFG Tinyhands Fart, Toadface Farage

Currently maintaining:
Wavewrights, on and off...
BCHS
BCW


Blog Pics
I've gathered some of my pages of photos together: the page of links is here. I'll be adding more as time goes by!




Evil Squid
A Little Glossary of Taylorspeke
(in no particular order)

plit popints - n. Typo for 'plot points' typed on a keyboard with more than half the characters worn off...

[PING] (alt [ping]) - n. A brainwave. The text equivalent of a lightbulb going on blindingly over someone's head. Usually mine. And usually at the most inconvenient of times. [sigh]

TPTB - The Powers That Be.

wulmet - n. A person of little or no talent who somehow inveigles himself into a position where he is in power over other, far more talented people and uses his position to downplay them in order to try to make himself feel superior.

biteable - referring to an anatomical part vb, tasty.

Flatterfed - vb. 27.02.08: my typo for flattered, but since it's so cutely apt I thought it would fit nicely here. Lutra defined it as "the lovely warm feeling of satisfaction resulting from enthusiastic reviews..." (which I've been getting for my MB fics).

Composted - vb, 'compos mentis', mentally capable of working. Contrast with uncomposted or non- composted, not 'compos mentis', not capable of working, hungover...

Cumbles - n, cucumbers.

Kewp - how Ken says 'thank you'. We rather like Lutra's 'nanx', too...

Musekick - noun, music, without which I cannot work.

'feinne - noun, caffeine, essential for correct mental functioning, especially first thing in the morning. I prefer mine in the form of SodaStream Diet Coke. And on that subject...

Skoosh - verb, noun. To skoosh - to add CO2 to a sodastream bottle filled with water to make it fizzy, prior to adding Diet Coke syrup (or just drinking as sparkling water). A skoosh - a bottle of water that has been skooshed. Skooshy - something that has been skooshed, water, or that whipped cream that comes in tins you have to shake then upend and press the nozzle...

Shoogle - verb. To shake gently, for example, of roast potatoes in a roasting tin to ensure they're covered with oil. I have vague memories of this being a real Scottish colloquialism...

Stegasaurus - n, spider of the genus tegenaria. Why? No idea. I just find it easier, that's all...
Edit 08.09.07: Lutra thinks that Brian is a good name for a mini-stegasaurus. From now on, any 'Brian's in the posts may be assumed to be a tegenaria. Except where otherwise specified.

Viterals - noun, vitamins + minerals. Also a pun on victuals.

Splish - verb. A combination of slosh and splash.

Parrots - noun, paracetemol (from the old joke "Why are there no aspirin tablets in the jungle? Because the parrots eat 'em all...")

Maggles - noun, magpies. As opposed to non-magical people.

Flamewings - noun. Swifts. So called because the first time we became aware of them was an early summer evening when they were flying high, the light from the setting sun seemingly turning their wings to flames. Lovely little birds. We always know summer's arrived when we hear their high-pitched squeeing.

Murfs - noun, moths.

Peasant cut - noun, roughly cut up into big chunks, e.g. vegetables chopped in a hurry for a hearty stew or soup. By extension, anything prepared in a hurry - haircut, material, even a first draft of a story...

Giraffe - noun, a carafe (of wine, coffee or water, for example).

Shrumps - noun, mushrooms.

Splings - noun, Kai's spelling homework: by extension, any spelling.

Tyops - noun, typos. var toyps, typso, psyto, psoyt, etc. Usual result of a dose of the fingerials (see next entry).

Fingerials - (pr. fin GEEE ree yalls) noun, fingers that will not type what you want them to.

Haddock - noun, time, of which I never have enough. (Origin of this term here.)

Sleep - noun? vb? a.k.a. sheeeeeeeeep.... I used to know what this word meant...


The Updates Blog

The place to stay notified of WaveWrights' Fiction updates: Zone, Darkside, DarkRealm, Matrix, Vault, Safehouse 13...




my computer gremlin Butch. click the pic to see the larger image

Butch, my computer gremlin. Click the pic for larger version, and read his adventures here...

Butch by the talented 

Sylverthorne

A gift for me! Butch by the very talented Sylverthorne. Click pic for larger image.

Joules' 

Haddock

This is MY haddock. It was caught exclusively for me by Talon. No, you can't have any. I need all the haddock I can get!!



A'lestrel by Valkyrie.

A'lestrel - a gift for me from Valkyrie...



Albino Alsatian Benten (c) MEBird 

2004

Another gorgeous Valkyrie gift for me - Benten the Albino Alsatian! Click thumbnail for larger image.

Radittsu, an oekaki for my birthday 04 

by 

Onna

Oekai by Bakayaro Onna - Radittsu at his sexiest...



The Zone Plant from
The Zone 

blog 

plant

OrganicHTML (which alas no longer seems to exist...)
[::..My Regular Reads..::]
:: Astronomical Pic of the Day [>]
:: What is Space... [>]
:: Dark Roasted Blend [>]
:: BLDG [>]
:: Watchismo Times [>]
[::..Fun Places..::]
::HubbleSite
Stunning...
::PALEOMAP Project
Absolutely fascinating.
:: Skymap
Check out the night sky where you are!
[::..Useful Sites..::]
:: GreenNet
First stop for environmental matters
:: The Forest of Avon
Our local community forest and places to visit
:: The Guardian
Online Guardian Newspaper.
:: Symbols
Exactly what it says
:: World Timeserver
For checking the current time around this world
:: Universal Currency Converter
Actually it's just a terran-global currency converter, not universal, but it's still useful...

So what is it with the haddock? Am I some kind of fish freak?

I'll leave that to others to decide.

The tale (or tail if you prefer) harks back to October 2000, when my GoodTwin and I, ably assisted by Sue, ran the first UK Professionals convention...
It's common knowledge that I never have enough time, and I was determined not to bewail the fact that weekend: hence I promised not to use the 'T' word...
Of course, that didn't really work (if nothing else I had to let the trainees know what times things were supposed to be happening!) so we decided a substitute word would be employed instead. There were several suggestions. Banana came very close to being chosen. However, I eventually decided that 'haddock' fitted the bill nicely. Ever since, haddock=time. Hence the title of my forthcoming autobiography,
My Half-Life in the Haddock Space Continuum....


Normally I wouldn't, but these were just irresistible...

How could I resist?

Just too adorable...

and to complete the rainbow...

These Too-Kawaii Kitties
were adopted from
Ghost's Anime Page (which appears to have disappeared, alas...)

[::..Anime/Manga..::]
Useful sites:

BBTS -
Fabulous anime figures

Anime Lyrics
A huge selection... evil popups

Anime still needed to complete series' I'm collecting... Many thanks to everyone who has helped me acquire the collection!
Ai no Kusabi

Owned:
   DVD
   Dj: June Special
   CD: Ambivalence

Cyber City Oedo 808

Owned:
   DVD
   All 3 eps on Video, dubbed
   Dj: Cyberage 1-3
   Illustrated Book 2 (Benten's) in Japanese

From Eroica with Love

Owned:
   Manga Vols 1, 9, 11

Mirage of Blaze

Owned:
   DVD Vol 1 (eps 1-4)

R.G. Veda

Owned:
   English Manga: Vol 1
   Japanese Manga: Vol 1-7 complete
   Tarot Pack
   R.G.Veda video

Twelve Kingdoms

Owned:
   Anime Vol 1-12: complete

Under the Glass Moon

Owned:
   Manga Vol 1, 2
Vol 3 needed

Vampire Hunter D - Bloodlust

Owned:
   DVD

   Vampire Hunter D Book 1



New Vampire Miyu

Owned:
   (Studio Ironcat) Manga Vols 1 -5 (complete)


Yami no Matsuei

Owned:
   Viz Manga: English translation, Vols 1 - 11 (complete: I believe vol 12 is only available online)
   Japanese 3-DVD set
   Central Park Media: Descendants of Darkness Vol. 1, English/Japanese subbed.
   Sketchbook


[::..Joules SP fied..::]


... this is Terra? How the hell'd I end up here...?

(Thanks, Lutra, for the quote!)

[::..archive..::]
07/01/2002 - 07/31/2002
08/01/2002 - 08/31/2002
09/01/2002 - 09/30/2002
10/01/2002 - 10/31/2002
11/01/2002 - 11/30/2002
12/01/2002 - 12/31/2002
01/01/2003 - 01/31/2003
02/01/2003 - 02/28/2003
03/01/2003 - 03/31/2003
04/01/2003 - 04/30/2003
05/01/2003 - 05/31/2003
06/01/2003 - 06/30/2003
07/01/2003 - 07/31/2003
08/01/2003 - 08/31/2003
09/01/2003 - 09/30/2003
10/01/2003 - 10/31/2003
11/01/2003 - 11/30/2003
12/01/2003 - 12/31/2003
01/01/2004 - 01/31/2004
02/01/2004 - 02/29/2004
03/01/2004 - 03/31/2004
04/01/2004 - 04/30/2004
05/01/2004 - 05/31/2004
06/01/2004 - 06/30/2004
07/01/2004 - 07/31/2004
08/01/2004 - 08/31/2004
09/01/2004 - 09/30/2004
10/01/2004 - 10/31/2004
11/01/2004 - 11/30/2004
12/01/2004 - 12/31/2004
01/01/2005 - 01/31/2005
02/01/2005 - 02/28/2005
03/01/2005 - 03/31/2005
04/01/2005 - 04/30/2005
05/01/2005 - 05/31/2005
06/01/2005 - 06/30/2005
07/01/2005 - 07/31/2005
08/01/2005 - 08/31/2005
09/01/2005 - 09/30/2005
10/01/2005 - 10/31/2005
11/01/2005 - 11/30/2005
12/01/2005 - 12/31/2005
01/01/2006 - 01/31/2006
02/01/2006 - 02/28/2006
03/01/2006 - 03/31/2006
04/01/2006 - 04/30/2006
05/01/2006 - 05/31/2006
06/01/2006 - 06/30/2006
07/01/2006 - 07/31/2006
08/01/2006 - 08/31/2006
09/01/2006 - 09/30/2006
10/01/2006 - 10/31/2006
11/01/2006 - 11/30/2006
12/01/2006 - 12/31/2006
01/01/2007 - 01/31/2007
02/01/2007 - 02/28/2007
03/01/2007 - 03/31/2007
04/01/2007 - 04/30/2007
05/01/2007 - 05/31/2007
06/01/2007 - 06/30/2007
07/01/2007 - 07/31/2007
08/01/2007 - 08/31/2007
09/01/2007 - 09/30/2007
10/01/2007 - 10/31/2007
11/01/2007 - 11/30/2007
12/01/2007 - 12/31/2007
01/01/2008 - 31/01/2008
01/02/2008 - 29/02/2008
03/01/2008 - 31/03/2008
01/04/2008 - 04/30/2008
01/05/2008 - 31/05/2008
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01/12/2014 - 31/12/2014
01/01/2015 - 31/01/2015
01/02/2015 - 28/02/2015
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01/05/2015 - 31/05/2015
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01/08/2015 - 31/08/2015
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01/11/2015 - 31/11/2015
01/12/2015 - 31/12/2015
01/01/2016 - 31/01/2016
01/022016 - 28/02/2016
01/03/2016 - 31/03/2016
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01/01/2017 - 31/01/2017
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01/10/2017 - 31/10/2017
01/11/2017 - 30/11/2017
01/12/2017 - 31/12/2017
01/01/2018 - 31/01/2018
01/02/2018 - 28/02/2018
01/03/2018 - 31/03/2018
01/04/2018 - 30/04/2018
01/05/2018 - 31/05/2018
01/06/2018 - 30/06/2018
01/07/2018 - 31/07/2018
01/08/2018 - 31/08/2018
01/09/2018 - 30/09/2018
01/10/2018 - 31/10/2018
01/11/2018 - 30/11/2018
01/12/2018 - 31/12/2018
01/01/2019 - 31/01/2019
01/02/2019 - 28/02/2019
01/03/2019 - 31/03/2019
01/04/2019 - 30/04/2019
01/05/2019 - 31/05/2019
01/06/2019 - 30/06/2019
01/07/2019 - 31/07/2019
01/08/2019 - 31/08/2019
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01/10/2019 - 31/10/2019
01/11/2019 - 30/11/2019
01/12/2019 - 31/12/2019
01/01/2020 - 31/01/2020
01/02/2020 - 29/02/2020
01/03/2020 - 31/03/2020
01/04/2020 - 31/04/2020
01/05/2020 - 31/05/2020
01/06/2020 - 31/06/2020
01/07/2020 - 31/07/2020
01/08/2020 - 31/08/2020
01/09/2020 - 30/09/2020
01/10/2020 - 31/10/2020
01/11/2020 - 30/11/2020
01/12/2020 - 31/12/2020
01/01/2021 - 31/01/2021
01/02/2021 - 28/02/2021
01/03/2021 - 31/03/2021
01/04/2021 - 30/04/2021
01/05/2021 - 31/05/2021
01/06/2021 - 30/06/2021
01/07/2021 - 31/07/2021
01/08/2021 - 31/08/2021
01/09/2021 - 30/09/2021
01/10/2021 - 31/10/2021
01/11/2021 - 30/11/2021
01/12/2021 - 31/12/2021
01/01/2022 - 31/01/2022
01/02/2022 - 28/02/2022
01/03/2022 - 31/03/2022
01/04/2022 - 30/04/2022
01/05/2022 - 30/05/2022
01/06/2022 - 31/06/2022
01/07/2022 - 31/07/2022
01/08/2022 - 31/08/2022
01/09/2022 - 30/09/2022
01/10/2022 - 31/10/2022
01/11/2021 - 31/11/2021
01/12/2022 - 31/12/2022
01/01/2023 - 31/01/2023
01/02/2023 - 28/02/2023
01/03/2023 - 31/03/2023
01/04/2023 - 30/04/2023
01/08/2023 - 31/08/2023
01/11/2023 - 31/11/2023

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

So, part 5 of Appliances...

(If you're new here, nip over to Appliances to read the whole thing in its natural environment - this is the last part and won't make any sense without the rest!)

Discharge

Poppy closed the door with a sigh of contented relief. Bank Holiday weekend coupled with two days annual leave – bliss!
     "Hi kids – mum's home!"
     A babble of voices greeted her from both the kitchen and the lounge, Sucker churring out of his corner and running a quick circle around her before heading back to his usual space behind the kitchen door. There were times he reminded her of a cat. Sort of.
     "Anything interesting happen while I was out?"
     "No. Well, there'th a new character in that medical thoap opera I like, Thucker and Thteamy want you to try growing vanilla orchidth, and Chillvern thayth you're running low on ithe cream. And there'th a new fabric condithioner I'd like to try. And there'th been an earthquake in Japan, and riotth in theveral countrieth, and the uthual upth and downth on the thtock marketth, but other than that, it'th all been quiet."
     She patted his top.
     "Quiet is good. We like quiet."
     Steamy giggled.
     "'S nice an' peaceful here, Poppy. 's lovely."
     She grinned as she pulled a marinaded tuna steak from the fridge and popped it into the steamer's lower basket. A double handful of mixed exotic veg followed in the medium basket, and she left him to work his magic while she unpacked her shopping. Chillvern hummed appreciatively as she slid shut the drawer now containing several packs of rather expensive ice-cream, affordable now that her fuel bill was about a quarter of what it had been.
     "So, what's on TV tonight?"
     "New sci-fi series starting." TeeVee switched himself on. "You might enjoy it. It's about machines that come to life and try to take over the world."
     Poppy laughed.
     "Yeah, right! OK, remind me when it's starting and we'll give it a go."

A couple of hours later, fed, showered and comfortably slouched on the sofa, Poppy licked the last of the toffee-chocolate ice-cream from her spoon and sighed happily.
     "Mm. Wonderful way to start a mini-holiday."
     "And your programme's about to start." TeeVee changed the channel – and the doorbell rang.
     "Damn." Poppy sighed and rose to her feet: Blue started recording the episode for her to watch when she'd dealt with the interruption.
     "Hell...." Her greeting was cut short as an arm reached around her waist and pulled her out into the corridor, almost closing the door behind her. It took her maybe two seconds before the shock wore off enough for her to start struggling.
     "What the...!? Let me go!"
     A hand settled over her mouth.
     "Ms Moss, please. We're not going to hurt you."
      Twisting, she saw that the man who had hold of her wasn't the only stranger in the hallway: there were at least six more and they were all wearing... what was the term? Fatigues? Green army clothing anyway. The sort actors wore in war films on TV.
     They all had guns. All of the guns were pointing towards her door.
     "Eeeep!"
     "If I let you go, will you stay still and hear me out?"
     She nodded, and he pulled his hand away from her mouth, then set her down on her feet.
     "We have reason to believe you are in danger."
     "How?"
     "We believe that some of the appliances in your flat may be... dangerous."
     She frowned.
     "And they send the army to deal with that sort of thing now, do they?"
     The man who'd held her, who she assumed was probably the one in charge, eyed her with some startlement.
     "They do when appropriate, yes."
     "And this is appropriate?"
     He scowled at her. Behind him, he heard one of the other soldiers snicker.
     "Yes. It is."
     "And how do you know they're dangerous?" She let a little sarcasm into her voice. "I mean, I've been living with them for months and they've never threatened me."
     "It's..." He stared at her, nonplussed. This wasn't exactly the reaction he'd been expecting. "They give off a certain energy that we can detect. They're... foreign, and often faulty. Not up to UK regulations. They may start fires. Some have been known to explode, which is why we're brought in. We've been trained to deal with this sort of thing."
     "Hm." Poppy nodded. "I see. Well, everything I have is all absolutely fine, up to scratch and functioning perfectly. You must have the wrong address."
     The soldier stared at her for a moment before speaking into his earpiece. "Target is proving... resistant."
     He listened for a few minutes, then gestured to his men, who moved cautiously forward and arrayed themselves in a semi-circle at the door, weapons at the ready.
     "Please stand back, miss."
     "But..."
     Before she could object, the first three men burst through the door, scanning the area swiftly before beckoning the others in. Over Poppy's blustered objections they fanned out, moving into each of the rooms in the small place. On the leader's wrist a small... thing, vaguely resembling a wristwatch, was beeping.
     The soldier beside him glanced at it.
     "Energon reading, sir."
     The leader nodded, then moved to the kitchen.
     "All right, we know you're in here. Show yourselves."
     Poppy pulled at his arm.
     "What the hell do you think you're doing!? You come bursting into my home, waving guns, talking to thin air... There's nobody here but you lot. And me."
     "Our detection devices say otherwise, miss. You'd be safer out in the hall."
     "And leave you in here to wreak havoc? I don't think so."
     "Then will you at least stay behind me?"
     "No. There's nothing here that can hurt anyone, especially not me - hey!" Two of the men had moved to stand in front of her, gradually backing her against the wall, completely ignoring her objections. "Let me go!"
     "It's for your own safety, miss."
     "I'm perfectly safe in my own home! And stop calling me miss!"
     "Sorry, Ms Moss."
     The squad leader (the officer? When this was all over she'd have 'Spin look up army ranks for her so she'd know how to address them if it ever happened again) aimed a small, complicated looking device around the kitchen. It bleeped when pointed at Chillvern. The officer hefted his rifle and aimed at the fridge.
     "This is equipped with incendiary armour piercing rounds that can cut through Decepticon hides in seconds. I suggest you show yourself."
     There was a fraught silence for a moment, then a deep sigh.
     "I'm sorry Poppy."
     Before her astonished – and the soldiers' dispassionate – eyes the sleek silver refrigerator started to... shift, twist in on itself, almost turn inside out. In seconds a strange, silver... creature stood in its place. Vaguely humanoid, with – she thought – rather pretty turquoise... eyes? They sat in what looked like a face where a human's eyes would be...
     "Chill?"
     The creature – robot? – nodded sadly. Poppy glanced quickly at the washing machine: 'Spin sighed, and also transformed. He looked oddly squat and dumpy next to the slender fridge. Guns were immediately pointed in his direction.
     "Faction?" It was snapped, the officer gesturing with his weapon to press home the query. "Autobot? Decepticon?"
     "We're neutralth."
     "Neutrals?"
     "Yeth. We never took thides. All we wanted to do wath live quietly thomewhere the war couldn't find uth."
     The officer frowned and muttered something into his earpiece, listened to the reply, then gestured to the door.
     "You're going to have to come with us while we check this out."
     Poppy gasped.
     "But... these are mine! My appliances... my friends..."
     The officer regarded her with what she would swear was sympathy.
     "I'm sorry. Not my decision."
     "S'all right, Poppy." Steamy had turned into a funny little four-legged thing with small bright eyes, his power cord coiled up on his back like a squirrel's tail. The officer scowled around the flat.
     "Any others?"
     Poppy watched as TeeVee and Blue shifted into matching, oddly spiky creatures, sleek black with blank blue eyes a little like miniature television screens, while Sucker bumbled along looking... well, looking like a vacuum cleaner with legs with wheels for feet, to be honest. She bit her lip, fighting back sudden and unexpected tears.
     "What will happen to them?"
     "They won't be hurt."
     "I'm coming too."
     "I'm afraid not. It's a security matter." he added as she opened her mouth to object.
     "But... This is ridiculous! They're not a risk! They've done nothing but help me since they moved in!"
     The officer shrugged.
     "They're illegal aliens."
     Poppy would have laughed if the situation hadn't been so grave.
     "They're mine!"
     "No." He shook his head. "They are sentient robotic organisms. They shouldn't even be here."
     "Where are you taking them?"
     "That's classified."
     "Will you let me know what happens? Please." she begged as the officer hesitated. He sighed.
     "I'll see what I can do."

They'd transformed back into their appliance mode for the soldiers to carry them down to the army vehicle parked outside. Poppy had stood on the pavement and watched helplessly as they'd been driven away, wiping tears from her eyes as she climbed back up to the suddenly empty, lonely flat.

She'd been too despondent at first to replace the missing appliances, using the laundrette around the corner for washing and eating out of tins. Two weeks later she'd still heard nothing, and was beginning to think she'd better get used to the idea that that little bit of magic was gone forever. She still had nightmares about them being hurt or killed, deactivated, scrapped, whatever it was they did to sentient robotic organisms, but there was nothing she could do. She resolved to at least visit a showroom and price up human appliances during her lunchtime.
     There was a stranger waiting for her when she arrived home, a man with an indefinable military bearing despite the civilian clothes he wore. He inclined his head to her as she halted at the door.
     "Ms Moss?" She nodded warily. "SASF Agent Graham. I'm here to discuss your... friends."
     "May I see some identification, please?"
     He smiled. It was a nice smile.
     "Very wise." He removed a wallet from an inner pocket and flashed an official looking document. Poppy frowned at it. She'd never heard of NEST, but it looked genuine, and since he knew about the appliances... She opened the door.
     "Please, come in."
     "Thank you."

At the kitchen table, they sat with coffee as Graham explained that before he could tell her anything, she would need to sign the Official Secrets Act. He went on to explain the ramifications of such in considerable detail. Intrigued, Poppy agreed and signed. Then listened, entranced, to the story of an ancient alien war on a far distant metallic world, a war that had ended up coming to earth quite accidentally. She knew he was only giving her the bare bones of the matter, but even so... wow...
     "So, my appliances – transformers?" He nodded. "They really are neutrals?"
     He sighed.
     "Yes. As with most wars, there were a lot of innocents who couldn't or wouldn't join sides, who got caught up in the nightmare and simply tried to survive. Some of the transformers managed to stow away on ships leaving their home world, and some of them – including yours – found their way here."
     She pushed away her now-cold coffee.
     "Where are they? Mine, I mean. How are they?"
     "They're well. They've been reunited with a few others of their number who also managed to fall to earth."
     Poppy grinned, a little dopily.
     "I'm glad they're OK. Will you tell them I asked after them – unless, of course," she eyed him hopefully, "I can see them myself."
     He regarded her for a moment, then smiled.
     "Actually, we were rather hoping you'd be able to do a little job for us..."

"Poppy! POPPY!!" Poppy held her arms out as 'Spin, in his robotic form, skipped into the kitchen and hugged her – very very gently. "Oh, it'th THO good to thee you!"
     She sniffled and grinned at him, then turned her smile on the rest. Chillvern had settled himself into his corner and transformed back into fridge mode with a contented sigh: Sucker was already zooming around the flat, all his tools out, returning the somewhat unkempt place to the standard of cleanliness he insisted upon, while Steamy was burbling about a whole new load of recipes he'd learned. TeeVee and Blue touched Poppy's shoulders gently as they made their way to their old places.
     "And these are the new ones." Graham stood at the door and ushered in the three new transformers Poppy had agreed to have stay with her. What would become the stereo system immediately made himself at home in the corner of the lounge, apparently nattering with TeeVee and Blue: a squat little creature skittered over to the kitchen table, climbed on and sat beaming around at them all before shifting to become a second, smaller television (well, that would help solve the problem of them arguing over who got to see which programmes, at least for a while), and last but definitely not least, a graceful, complex-looking transformer tossed her a wave then loped to the desk in her bedroom and became a high-end computer system with all the peripherals she could ever want. She glanced back at Graham, eyes wide and mouth open, and he chuckled.
     "Only sensible, Poppy. This way you can have instant access to one of our operatives, in case of any problems, and vice versa." He held up a hand. "Visual comms only if you authorise it, I assure you."
     "Oh good!" She grinned happily. "This is fantastic."
     "We are glad you're happy with the situation. Thank you for volunteering."
     "My pleasure."
     "We're also trying to organise a car for you."
     She stared at him.
     "There are transformer cars?"
     "Oh yes. But they are larger and tend to be more involved with the actual war, so finding one who can be spared to act as guardian for a civilian is... not as easy."
     "It's OK. If it happens, great. If not – I'm very happy with this." She gestured around the flat.
     "Excellent. Well," he glanced around, checking that everything was in order, then saluted Poppy. "I had better be on my way. It was a pleasure meeting you Ms Moss. May you have peaceful days."
     "'Til all are one." chorused the transformers around her, and Graham chuckled.
     "'Til all are one."




©: JAT Oct 2011




... Course, I'm now tempted to write a followup...

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